


Close To You

by bubblytonks



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Magical Tattoos, Oral Sex, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Post-Sirius Black's Death, Vaginal Sex, werewolf camp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblytonks/pseuds/bubblytonks
Summary: Amelia Travers is a highly talented young witch, who knows Bill Weasley from their days at Hogwarts and works for the Order of the Phoenix alongside him. She struggles with the deprivations that come with fighting a war and finds comfort in the arms of a werewolf, who sufferes after the loss of his best friend. Set after Order of the Phoenix.
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Reader
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This story has lingered inside my head for a long time and I finally decided to write it all down. I hope you enjoy it! :)

When Amelia Travers woke up, the hot august sun was already illuminating the bedroom through the window blinds. She arched her back and stretched her limbs to awaken her body, before she slipped into the bathroom. Although it must have been around midday, she felt exhausted from the nightmares that tormented her sleep. 

Today was her first day off in a week full of Order duties. The war was creeping closer since You-Know-Who revealed himself to be alive to the Ministry and the Order of the Phoenix was busy recruiting and protecting people. 

Regular meetings had hardly been possible after the death of Sirius Black, who had owned the house used as headquarters, but most members of the Order frequented the Weasley's family home now and from what Amelia had seen there, she wasn't the only one struggling. 

Everybody's spirits seemed to have dropped rigorously since Sirius' murder, as if a dark cloud was hanging over everybody's heads. Realization had hit them, that they had lost a dear friend and a fierce fighter and that he probably wouldn't be the last one. Molly Weasley still felt guilty for the many times she had fought with Sirius over Harry Potter’s well being. Nymphadora Tonks' usual brightly colored hair had turned a mousy shade of brown and her bubbly personality had almost vanished since the loss of her cousin.

But nobody suffered more than Remus Lupin. The pain was visible in every move he made, in every attempted smile and every time his eyes met Amelia's. His lean frame got skinnier, his tired appearance grew even more exhausted and the paleness of his skin got more noticeable with every passing day. He looked more miserable than Amelia had ever thought possible, but still he tried to put on a facade. Remus didn't talk about what had happened in the Department of Mysteries and he worked harder than any of them.

Once Amelia had tried to talk to Remus, she had tried to comfort him, they were friends after all, but he hadn't let his guard down. Nobody had seen him shed a single tear after the loss of his best friend, nor had he tried to talk to somebody about it. Amelia was worried, she couldn't fathom how he managed to bottle it all up and desperately wanted to help him. It was hard enough for her, who hadn't known Sirius for more than a year, she couldn't imagine what it must feel like for Remus.

Amelia spent her day off trying to relax. She took a long bath, listened to classical music and made herself pancakes, all while trying to think about something else than the Order and the oncoming war.

With the evening approaching the young witch got ready to visit the Weasley's at the Burrow. Bill had invited her over, knowing that it was easier for her to spend time with them, than alone at home, especially in the evening. Amelia braided her long platinum blonde hair and put on a plaid pair of pants and her favorite shirt, wanting to feel as comfortable as possible.

At 5:30 Amelia disapparated from her flat and seconds later she was standing in the Weasley's crowded living room. Through a cluster of Order members and Weasley children, she made her way over to greet Bill, who was in deep conversation with Remus.

"Hey, thanks for the invitation. Didn't know the whole Order would be here, though", Amelia smiled at the two of them. As her green eyes wandered from Bill's to Remus' she could see the pain again, although he was smiling too. Others might have missed it, but not her. She had felt herself get lost in these warm hazel eyes too many times before, to not notice. 

"Well, I thought it would be a good opportunity for you all to get to know Fleur. We're getting married by the way", Bill beamed over at a stunningly pretty woman standing next to Mrs Weasley. Amelia immediately recognized her beautiful features from a picture in the Daily Prophet, that had introduced the Triwizard Champions.

"You're getting married?! Holy cow, Bill, congratulations!", Amelia grinned at him.

"Thanks. Mom says we're rushing things and we should wait for when the war is over, but that could take ages, so we're doing it anyway and you're all invited, of course", Bill declared happily. 

"That's great, honestly, it feels good to have something to look forward to, doesn't it? I'm so glad you two are happy together and I can't wait to finally spend a day celebrating love instead of fighting Death Eaters", Amelia grimaced.

Bill chuckled and nodded approvingly, before he made his way over to Fleur and his mother, leaving Amelia standing next to Remus. She knew he tried to look somewhat pleased, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. The desperate impulse to hug him overcame her, but she didn't act on it.

Amelia settled down at the dining table, next to Hestia Jones and looked up at Remus inviting him to sit next to her. The two of them talked throughout dinner about meaningless things, like recently read books or Bill and Fleur's upcoming wedding, carefully avoiding the night in the Department of Mysteries. Remus seemed to loosen up a little, he smiled more and ate second helpings. Amelia couldn't help the glee bubbling up inside her every time he laughed. Maybe things were getting better.

After the meal the children were ushered upstairs and Kingsley Shacklebolt got up to tell them about the latest events, including the most crucial things he knew about Rufus Scrimgeour, the new Minister for Magic. Amelia knew this was important information, but she almost couldn't bear to listen. Having to hear Kingsley talk about the Ministry's precautions against the Death Eaters, made her guts squirm. She felt helpless and exhausted and she wished it would be possible to just run away without ever coming back. 

Kingsley ended his speech and Arthur Weasley flicked his wand and a glass of Firewhisky appeared in front of everybody sitting around the table. He raised his own and smiled affectionately at his eldest son and his fiancé. 

"To Bill and Fleur", Mr Weasley bellowed, "and to Sirius, as always."

Remus grabbed Amelia's hand under the table. She could feel his chilly fingers gripping hers, their entangled hands hanging between them. He had never done that before and the suddenness of it surprised her. Amelia turned her head slightly to look at him, but found him staring at the untouched glass in front of him. She squeezed his hand a little tighter, trying to reassure him. They sat beside each other like that until it was time to leave. 

It had been an eventful day for Amelia. She had woken up early after mere four hours of restless sleep to guard Diagon Alley with Remus. Since it was the last week of the holiday, the street had been full of students and Dumbledore had ordered them to keep a lookout. She had been looking forward to spending more time with Remus alone, she had the impression that she could always cheer him up at least a little. Both Remus and Amelia hadn’t expected to run into any Death Eaters in bright daylight, but when they had seen a familiar face disappear into Knockturn Alley, they followed. Corban Yaxley had been pacing up and down the street in front of Borgin and Burke’s and although it had been two against one, he had put up an astounding fight, when he noticed Remus and Amelia spying on him. In the end the Death Eater managed to escape after he had hit Amelia with a Cruciatus Curse and Remus had abandoned the fight to look after her. He had taken her straight to the Burrow, knowing that Mrs Weasley would look after Amelia.

Now she was sitting on the Weasley’s garden bench, sipping a cup of tea. Her insides were still aching slightly, but she was lost in thoughts and ignored it. Never before had she been hit by the Cruciatus Curse, it had been pain beyond the imaginable and she had thought it would never end. But it did, just as suddenly as it had begun. Only the memory of it would never fade away, she was sure of that.

“Amelia, dear, don’t you want to come in and eat dinner with us?”, Mrs Weasley poked her head out the backdoor, concern written all over her face. Amelia didn’t want her to worry, but she felt unable to go back inside the cramped house, where everybody would certainly stare at her.

“Thanks, but I don’t really feel like eating”, she answered truthfully. The apprehension on the mother’s face grew even worse, but she went back to the living room anyway.

For a little while Amelia closed her eyes, her head resting against the wall behind her and just listened to the distant humming of bees. The sun was already low, its rays warming the sore skin of her face. It felt almost peaceful, hadn’t it been for the faint pain constantly coursing through her veins. She wondered if it would ever fully go away or if she’d just get used to it.

“May I join you?”, Remus’ voice came from the door. Amelia opened her eyes suddenly, blinking against the sun. She had reckoned he would have gone home by now, but there he was standing, a tray with two plates in his hands, smiling down at her.

“Sure”, she managed a smile as she scooted over, making room for him. He carefully placed the tray on the table in front of them, but made no move to eat.

“How are you feeling?”, Remus asked attentively, turning his whole body towards her. The same concerned expression Mrs Weasley had worn ever since Amelia had turned up at the Burrow today, clung to his face now.

“I’m fine”, Amelia lied, looking away from him. Tears were prickling in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them out, not here, not with him.

“How could you be? I’m sorry I couldn't protect you”, mumbled Remus.

“There’s no need to protect me, Remus”, a heavy silence followed her statement. She felt terribly weak, the stress of the previous weeks weighing heavy on her. The Cruciatus Curse hitting her had only been the tip of the iceberg, unsettling her more than it should have.

“We all need to protect each other or we won’t win the war”, Remus insisted. As he locked eyes with Amelia, the pain was as visible as ever and suddenly she couldn't take it anymore. Tears welled up and made their way down her cheeks. In an attempt to hide them, she stood up abruptly and walked across the lawn. Amelia wanted to run until she wouldn't be able to feel anything except her sore muscles, but she didn’t possess the energy to do so. She could feel Remus catching up to her and exhausted as she was, she let him.

“It’s okay to cry, you know”, he said carefully.

“That’s funny coming from you”, Amelia snapped. She hadn’t meant to say it, she had no reason to be angry with him, but she couldn't stop herself. After all, it was him, who had neglected showing emotions for weeks now. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bawl at you. It’s just… I feel like everything is too much.”

She didn’t know how to express her feelings any better, it felt like even finding the right words would take too big of an effort. Remus clenched his jaws slightly, looking over Amelia’s shoulder into the distance.

“I know what you mean. You feel alone and useless, even getting up in the morning is exhausting you. It feels like this will never end”, Remus whispered. His voice was distant, as if he was talking more to himself. The words hit Amelia, they felt so true, it was like he had peered inside her head.

“Exactly, and the war has barely begun. I feel weak, because everybody else seems to do more and to be coping better. You are working so hard, even after Sirius, all the while I’m breaking down with no real reason at all. I feel guilty, because I can’t help you, although I can see the pain in your eyes every time you look at me and I just want it all to end”, words spilled out of Amelia, like a dam had broken. She felt tears wetting her cheeks again, but this time she didn’t care. With two long strides she was in Remus’ arms. He welcomed her, his warmth streaming through her immediately and she felt instantly better. His arms snaked tightly around her waist, his chin resting on top of her head. For a few blissful minutes time seemed to stop. Amelia could hear Remus’ heart beating soothingly in his chest and the loneliness they had both felt started to fade away.

The sun had already set, when Amelia broke the embrace. She looked up, searching for Remus’ eyes and found them drained of all pain, back to their usual warm hazel color. A smile spread across her face, making her eyes sparkle in the faint moonlight. Remus felt dazed by her closeness, he could have counted every single freckle on Amelia’s delicate face, but for some reason, he was unable to shift his gaze from her lips. Knowing full well that he shouldn’t, he leaned down to her, his mouth meeting hers halfway. He couldn't completely comprehend what was happening, all he knew was the softness of her lips, her body pressing against his and the prickling sensation where her hands graced the back of his neck. His guilt and self loathing were banished to a far corner of his mind, trying to break free, but he wouldn't let it happen just yet.

Regret had overcome Remus after the kiss. Amelia had been beaming up at him and his heart had started to ache for her touch immediately, but he had had to reject her. The brief happiness had vanished from her face, when he had turned away from her.

He knew what he had to do. Dumbledore had asked him before, to go on a mission to a large werewolf pack up north. To date, Remus had hesitated to spend months on this dangerous assignment, but now it felt like the only right thing to do. He had to put as much distance as possible between him and Amelia, for her to forget him. He had felt the pull towards her for months, but he had been too weak to break contact with her and now he would have to pay the price.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus comes back from his mission with the werewolf and finds himself in Amelia's care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, I finally finished this fic! Not sure how I feel about this, but whatever, I'm posting it anyway, so have fun. :)  
> Rated M for the steamy part in the end

_6 months later_

The air was freezing cold, the tree branches were covered in white frost and Amelia's breath formed dusty clouds against the dark night sky. In the distance she could see the glowing windows of Hogwarts towering on the hill. She was standing guard at the gates to the castle with Hestia Jones.

The older witch had her hands tucked into her over-sized coat and her face was barely visible underneath her maroon beanie. Amelia on the other hand didn’t mind the cold. She enjoyed the piercing sensation on her cheeks, it had a way of making her feel more alive.

It was a quiet night, as usual, and Amelia was thankful for being paired up with the rather silent Hestia. She didn’t feel like talking lately. It had been half a year since Remus Lupin had left for his mission at the werewolf camp. She had no idea, if he would ever come back or if he was even still alive. Her body was aching at the thought of him and she wondered if those were still the remnants of Yaxley’s Cruciatus Curse.

At first Amelia had wanted to hate him for leaving her behind like that. She had felt safe that evening in his arms, just to loose that safety again, making her feel more uneasy than ever before. After that, every day had been a battle, every morning she had forced herself awake, awaiting the endless loneliness, that would hit her with a daunting certainty.

A few weeks later worry had overcome her. The full moon had been coming closer and every night Amelia had spent on guard duty, she had been unable to draw her eyes away from the bright white orb hanging in the sky. She had thought about what Remus would be facing at the camp, surrounded by reminders of his most hated self.

By now Amelia felt empty of any emotion really. She had closed herself off from everyone that wasn’t in the Order and even her friendship with Bill Weasley felt exhausting. Her daily life basically consisted of Order meetings, Order duty and dozing off on the couch and jerking awake from one of her nightmares hours later.

Amelia’s feet carried her up and down the road to Hogwarts absentmindedly. It was a dull job, where rarely anything happened at all, but Dumbledore insisted on the extra precautions.

A faint plopping noise, that came from further down the road, caught her attention. The darkness made it impossible for her to see the cause of it, but it had sounded suspiciously like someone apparating. Amelia lit her wand silently and peered along the street towards the source of the sound. A person seemed to be kneeling on the ground, his back hunched over, breathing rapidly. Carefully the young witch closed the distance. She was on high alert, it could be a trap after all, but her instincts told her otherwise. Slowly she touched the man’s shoulder in an attempt to get a better look at him, but the person jerked away from her, got back on his feet and stumbled back a few steps. His wand was hanging loosely in his hand, his eyes wide in shock.

At first Amelia didn’t recognize him with the thick layer of dirt and dried blood covering his features, but when her gaze wandered up to his hazel eyes, she drew in a sharp breath. Remus was standing in front of her, his ripped clothes dangling from his skinny frame and his face littered with new scars.

“You’re alive”, Amelia whispered, staring at him.

“Got lucky”, Remus answered through clenched teeth. Amelia could see, that his body was aching and he was still breathing heavily.

“What are you doing here? What happened? You are hurt, you should be at St. Mungo’s. Or at least at home to clean your wounds”, words were spilling out of her mouth, without really thinking about them.

“No, I have to report to Dumbledore. My mission was not quite as successful as I would have liked, that’s why I’m here”, Remus made to move past her up the road to the castle.

“That will have to wait” Amelia said firmly. Before he could protest she flicked her wand. _Expecto Patronum_ , she thought, and an enormous silver manta ray erupted from the tip of her wand. It glided up the road to deliver the message of Remus’ return first to Hestia and then to Dumbledore. In the meantime, Amelia grabbed the fellow Order member next to her by the arm to steady him and together they disapparated.

Amelia didn’t know where else to go, St. Mungo’s wasn’t really an option after thinking about it, so seconds later the pair arrived on the porch to her tiny flat. Carefully she lead Remus up the stairs and through the door towards the couch.

“You should have just let me go talk to Dumbledore”, he mumbled.

“No way, you look horrible and you clearly need some rest”, Amelia retorted before she went to the bathroom looking for salve for his wounds. She returned with a small container and a damp cloth in her hands and knelt down in front of him. She looked up at him and decided on cleaning his face first, where a deep cut had slashed his eyebrow in half. He winced at her touch, but let her continue nonetheless. After a few minutes Amelia came to the conclusion that her cleaning wouldn’t suffice.

“You should take a shower, Remus”, without waiting for his answer, she went to the bathroom once more and took out a towel for him. He trotted over to her and came to a halt in front of her.

“Thank you”, Remus looked down at her intently, his eyes warm and earnest, a lopsided, rather sad smile on his face. Amelia smiled back at him, but averted her gaze. She could barely look at him at all, after everything that had happened. She had done what had to be done in taking him home, but she still felt hurt and lonely, and she wasn’t fully ready to forgive him for leaving without a word.

Remus closed the bathroom door behind him and got rid of his clothes, flinching every now and then. He avoided looking into the mirror hanging above the sink, he couldn't stand looking at himself right now. After he performed a cleaning spell on his clothes, he stepped into the shower, let the hot water hit his skin and finally he relaxed.

While Remus showered, Amelia set up tea for both of them. Tea would calm him down for all she knew.

After a few minutes Remus opened the bathroom door again and stepped back into the living room, unsure of what to do. Mainly he just wanted to sleep, but this wasn’t his home, so he settled back onto the couch, a cup of tea already waiting for him in mid air.

“How are you feeling?”, Amelia asked quietly, handing him the salve. Now that he was cleaned, he looked slightly healthier, but the cuts on his skin seemed fresh and more prominent than before.

“I’m fine. Just tired”, Remus felt like lying was the only option. His insides were squirming, his wounds were throbbing and he felt terribly guilty for disturbing Amelia with his presence after leaving without a note 6 months ago. “You shouldn’t have to put up with me, I’m going to go home now. Thanks you for taking me in even after what I’ve done to you.”

He gulped down the rest of his tea and got up to his feet.

“You should sleep here, you can take the couch. We’re going to sort this out in the morning”, Amelia said curtly and gave him a small smile before vanishing into her bedroom.

Remus woke up a few hours later, the sun had not yet risen fully, but the sky was colored in lilac and pinkish tones. He sat up, wincing slightly and saw Amelia sitting at the kitchen counter. Her blonde hair looked almost silver in the faint morning light and strands of it had escaped from her messy bun, falling in her face. She was reading the Daily Prophet, one hand clutched around a steaming mug of tea. Remus couldn't help but stare at her. To him, she had never looked more beautiful than now in her huge sweater and pajama pants. Amelia yawned heartily and noticed him eyeing her. It sent a pleasant shiver down her spine, seeing him with his eyes still half closed and his hair sticking up. He got to his feet and strolled over to her.

“Good morning”, Remus said, the lopsided smile back on his face, but not sad this time.

“Are you alright?”, Amelia asked and Remus nodded reassuringly. “Look, I’m sorry for how I behaved yesterday. I was surprised to see you and a little overwhelmed, too. But I’m not mad at you, I’m just glad that you made it out alive.”

“You should be mad though.”

“But I’m not. Not anymore. We’re at war, there’s no time for being petty, I just want to be as happy as possible”, Amelia stated, “Do you want some breakfast?”

Remus couldn't believe his ears. She was ready to forgive him just like that, after kissing and leaving her all in the same night. A rumbling in his stomach jerked him out of his thoughts.

“Breakfast would be lovely. I’ll head out to get us something”, Remus suggested, but with a flick of Amelia’s wand plates, toasted bread, pastries and tea appeared in front of them.

“Dig in”, she grinned at Remus, “And tell me about your mission.”

Remus didn’t have to be told twice, he hadn’t eaten properly in days.

“Well, it went rather well most of the time. My made up story obviously convinced most of them and over the course of a month or so, I was able to make some friends. The werewolves in these camps aren’t inherently bad people, they all just want to belong somewhere and being surrounded by their kind can be quite comforting”, Remus took a large bite of his buttered toast. “But most of them believe the stuff Greyback told them. That they are somehow superior and should no longer be outcasts.”

“The latter is kind of true, isn’t it?”, Amelia said softly, but Remus’ attention had shifted. The sleeve of her jumper had slid up her arm as she had reached for the jam and he was staring at her wrist. Amelia tried to cover it quickly, before he would get a proper look, but he grabbed her arm roughly and pushed up the sweater.

“What it this?”, he whispered, his voice distant and entirely untainted by its usual warmth. His eyes were fixed on the small, black half moon gracing the skin of Amelia's arm. The tattoo seemed to mock him and he felt a sudden flash of disgust coursing through his veins.

“It changes with the lunar phases”, Amelia said firmly. Remus looked up at her in horror.

“Why? Why would you do that to yourself? You’ll never get rid of it”, he was standing now and suddenly let go of her wrist, taking a step backwards.

“It made me feel closer to you”, was the only thing Amelia said. The room seemed to close in on him as Remus tried to wrap his head around the fact, that she had decided to keep a reminder of him on her skin. It felt surreal, crazy even. Surely she would regret the decision by now.

“Why on earth would you want that?”, Remus breathed, eyes wide.

“Because I missed you, you idiot!”, Amelia was almost shouting, “Because I felt secure in your arms for the first time in forever. Because I was constantly worrying about your safety, after you left without saying a word.”

Remus swallowed hard, his heart was thumping madly in his chest and his mouth was dry. He had heard her words, but his brain was unable to comprehend their meaning.

“I’m sorry”, was all he managed to say. She didn’t really know what to do now, with Remus looking thunderstruck, seemingly unable to move, and she felt tears burning in her eyes, so she got up and placed her plate and mug in the sink.

As if her movement had shook him awake he took two long strides and was behind her. He turned her around and in the next moment his mouth was on hers. Amelia melted into him immediately and returned his kiss eagerly. All the anger and disappointment seemed to dissolve into nothingness as Remus pressed her against the kitchen worktop. His lips were everywhere, exploring her neck first and continuing over her now bare shoulders down her arms. They both got rid of their shirts and Amelia began tracing the scars on Remus’ lean body with one hand, the other one firmly in his messy hair, never letting go of his lips with hers. He shivered slightly under her touch and his own hands wandered down her sides.

With one swift move he pulled down her pajama pants and lifted her onto the worktop. She grinned against his kiss as her fingers found his belt buckle, but he pushed them away softly, before he knelt down in front of her and pulled down her damp panties. For one moment she felt horribly vulnerable, but the next second Remus was kissing his way up her inner thighs and all thoughts left her brain. Amelia let out a groan as his tongue and his soft stubble graced her most sensitive skin and mere seconds later he sent her over the edge. Her fingers tightened around his hair and next thing she knew she was lying in her bed, Remus towering over her. Finally he took off his pants too and climbed into bed next to her. It felt like she would never get enough of him, of his scent, of his lips, so Amelia kissed him hard and pulled him on top of her.

“I need you”, she whispered against his neck and sent shivers down his spine. At her command Remus pushed himself into her, careful at first, but more forceful with each stroke. Her body demanded release again and with his quickening pace, he made her loose herself once again. She clenched around him and he couldn’t hold it any longer. He gripped onto her hips for dear life and came hard.

Panting Remus rolled off of her and nestled his nose into the crook of Amelia's neck. She giggled and wrapped herself around him.

“I love you”, he whispered and kissed her softly. He felt happier than he would have ever imagined with her smell surrounding him.

“I love you, too”, Amelia said, still bubbling with joy. She closed her eyes and let sleep overtake her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! xx


End file.
